Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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