Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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