"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
