quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm having to shit out rocks
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
