I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it was like eating out sand paper
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
