I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
