So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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