you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize