Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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