You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
