I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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