I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
