Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
