Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
