I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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