I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize