how can u be prego again
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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