so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize