He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Operation Purity has been aborted
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize