so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize