Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
