The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
