So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
