I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Your dad touched me again.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
