weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
