And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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