the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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