YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
