you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize