How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
ttyl tear gas
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
