Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
