My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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