How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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