we're blogging at a bar
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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