I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
