he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
