oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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