Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
