I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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