Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
