new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
