His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
