apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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