Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize