How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's never too late to be topless.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
