Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
