dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
