Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
