it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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