I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
