He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize