Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
