They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
