thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
it glows. i had to have it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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