i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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