I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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