Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
