Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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