You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
