Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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