we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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