I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
