and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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