Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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