Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
